Conversation with 3 YO

I remember telling you in my last post that it is ok to feel like you are the worst mom and it is alright to borrow five minutes of your time and pretend you are shitting in the toilet while you read few pages of the book that you just bought. It is alright….

I had a fight with my daughter this morning. It is a fight where I lose, every time, because 1) you are arguing with 3 YO and 2) you are arguing with 3 YO.  My dear husband is away on business for 7 months and that leaves me in craze mood because I don’t have any skill to drive. So, this morning I decided to drop my daughter off early and leave to work early because I would be driving my car, for the very first time. But my daughter had another plan. I have requested that she breakfast with Angel, our baby sitter, and also let Angel help her brush her teeth. Luckily, she finished the glass of milk (thanks to Milo) and several numbers of croissants, because she was eating it with Nuttela spread. Just as I finished showering, she came running to me proudly and exclaimed “Mom, I finished the glass of milk and the croissants.” I was like “great, now please go brush your teeth before we run late to your school.” And she responds “Happy dressing up Mama.” And this is the conversation that followed.

(She goes in the bathroom, Angel enters too.)

Angel: “Jamba, please stop doing that”

Me: “ Jamba, listen to your sister”

Jamba: “Aaaaa…”(opening her mouth)

Angel: “Jamba!....Ana, she always bites the tooth brush and never lets me brush her teeth”

Me: “Jamba, if I have to brush your teeth, we might be late”

Jamba: ”Mom……are you upset with me?....you are upset with me..ahhh” (wailing)

Me: “My Jamba dear does not scream at me, who is this girl screaming at me”

Jamba: “Mamamama….” (Stomping her feet)

Me: “I am sorry darling, now come here let’s get you dressed up”

Jamba: (Smiling widely) “I am trying to make you smile”

Me: “You always make me happy but you have to make others happy and smile too”

Jamba: “I am trying Mom, but it is very difficult to make everyone happy”

P.S. : My daughter is 3 years old, loves singing and dancing and always overdressed for whatever the occasion is. And just as adorable as she looks, she talks wisely too. And here, I lost my argument because so much truth echoed in her statement.

Growing Up...

“Happy Mummy’s Day, Mom”, my little girl held out a cute doddle of supposedly me on the bright orange paper. I was so overwhelmed and so thankful that I have such beautiful people who inspire me to be a better person every day. If not for anyone, I will strive to be better mommy, and better person, for that matter, for my little girl, who has taught me so much more than I did to her. Through her, I grew up too, my thoughts widened and my perspective increased. In the process of teaching her what is right and what is not, and by answering to her innocent questions, I molded myself into someone better than I used to be. And when I see my girl growing up little by little and by the way she takes in world, I think I am doing better job as a mother, though I doubt myself  lot sometimes. We (my dear husband and I) have never resorted to spanking her as a solution for something she does wrong. In fact, we appreciated her for speaking out the truth, even when she thought what she did, was something scary. This way, it has helped me with my patience and temper, it helped me understand more that not all people have similar thoughts and that every person has different feelings of what is right and wrong.

We tell her that it is alright to say sorry even when you are not at wrong and if that makes someone feel better. By doing so, it helped me forgive more people who have had hurt me or my parents or my siblings. It has made me feel so much better by freeing my heart from remorse feelings. Everyone have their reasons for having done whatever they did. I hope that they made right decisions at that moment.

When I told my little girl that we should appreciate what ever little we have, I have thought of all the people who have lesser than us and learned the happiness in giving and sharing. I am not saying that I am a perfect mother; I do have days when I feel I am not doing it well. I do cry, at night when my little girl is asleep near me and think about times I have made her cross and cry, unintentionally, and I do need constant encouragement from my dear husband that I am doing it quite well. I complain about myself to my dear husband “I am the worst mother”. However, I have come to realize that when it comes to loving your child, no matter how much you love them and care them, you still feel it is not enough and that it is quite normal to feel distress at yourself when you make them feel upset.

I smile as I conclude my musing and think about this little cute incidence with my girl:

It was a quiet evening and I was giving bath to my girl. She complained that her friend pushed and she bruised her elbow and that it was hurting when I poured water on it. I was like “how did it happen and did you inform your teacher that your friend pushed you”? She meekly answered “no Mom, I didn’t inform my teacher because she would scold my friend. And He didn’t push me on purpose, it was an accident”. I could not be prouder as my eyes welled up.