Things I am never good at:

As if I am done talking about things I am good at (which I haven’t figured out yet), today I am going to list down the things I am never good at. This is for me to remind myself that no matter how much I try, I will fail miserably in these departments. So here I go:

1.       I can never say “No”. Well, I would be exaggerating a bit if I say “I can never say no”, but even if I have said it few times, I have said it with difficultly, with guilt after saying it. I know it is alright to say “no” sometimes because I am not a super woman or some sort of a thing who has answer to everything, though I have tried to read as many books to be able to answer to innocent questions of my daughter. Why is it damn difficult to say No when you really don’t want to be going to visit some damned place or say no to plead for pocket money even when I have been broke half way through the month or say “uh oh” to request such as to buy an eye pencil because the last one you bought for her is lost even though you don’t remember when was the last time you owned one yourself….

2.       I am a terrible photographer and poser. But coming back to No. 1, I have never said no to those who have asked to take their pictures. Honestly, I am sure they regret asking me the minute they see their picture: the result of my poor skills. 

3.       I am a fashion disasterer (if ever there was a word like this). Seriously, I am not sure which one is wrong, my body or by sense of dressing, but I know for sure, I am a culprit for fashion police. Put me behind the bars with thousands of clothes to try it on me.  And a fashion designer for my petite body phulese…

4.       I am a poorer hair maintainer. If you have seen my post in Instagram, you will know what I am talking about. I have tried garlic, onion, hot oil, herbal hair treatment, flat- iron, anti-frizz. Ok I know I have just started doing all this. I am waiting for the miracle to happen, anytime.

5.       I speak my mind. I blurt out what is in my mind. I do not go to the extent of Jenifer Lawrence but I may sometimes top her and land up hurting people unintentionally. I promise I have molded myself since I have started working. I have taken so many criticisms positively which has helped me in so many different ways. Today, some people say I am a different person than I was yesterday, in a good way (hopefully).

P.S:

The list goes on….I think there are more things that I am never good at than I thought I had, but I am hoping my other traits are tolerable compared to the ones I am listed here. I have not mentioned cooking intentionally because I am far better than my husband and I am counting it is not the thing which I am not very good at. But you should hear me sing or dance and might feel like there is more to the list…..

 

Being Human

This post has nothing to do with what Salman Khan is doing, though I absolutely admire him for his endeavour. Nonetheless, it is somehow related in a way to his initiative of being human. And so, I can’t stop wondering, “Do we have to really prostrate, attend Rimpoche’s lectures or chant Baza Guru to gain merits”. BECAUSE. SERIOUSLY. I. AM. CONFUSED.

It is not that I don’t appreciate people who are really into religion. I really do admire them for their effort, for their consistency, for their belief, for their faith. But what I really don’t understand is how people over look small things and take it for granted. Why is it so difficult for a person to give little bit of what they have in abundance? When they can make huge offerings to whatever they are doing to gain good karmic effect in their next life, why can’t they speak gently and explain properly to illiterate? Honestly, if they can’t do these small things which, by the way, I believe is the basic guideline of Buddhism, I really don’t get how they fool themselves by believing what they do is great. Is it really them or am I just the odd person here? Seriously, have you met anyone who claims to be equal to Buddha and yet fails miserably in achieving even an inch of what ordinary human does? 

I have met ordinary people who do not have much, who do not own large assets or who barely knows how their month will end because the salary that they earn gets exhausted on its first week, but never ever have I imagined in my wildest dream that they will be the most generous ones too. Is it because they know the pain of going to bed empty stomach? What has the world come to, I do not. People are more educated but they know fewer values than people in olden days. Where elders used to advice the younger ones and less educated one, now we can least expect from these people anything. 

I have always tried to be positive, always advice positively to my co-workers, and always gave positive justifications to my siblings but this time I failed miserably, myself. I couldn’t find any possibility to think positively. I am hurt. Our people have failed in their responsibilities. I have lost respect in them. I have lost faith. And yet I have to be strong. I have to be independent. I have to show that humanity is not forever lost. I have to let at least one person know and feel that she is not alone in her fight. I will make her survive. I will make her independent. I will make her love her life and I will educate her. 

P.S: This is by far the most negative post I have ever written. I have written what I was feeling at that moment. I guess it is just a part of being human.