Trusting the other person is one of the last things in your list while making a relationship, any kind. And it takes one small mistake to drain it down and you know it takes life time to forgive that person and yourself for making the mistake by trusting that person. Trust is one big important thing in marriages without which it is never going to work. I wonder at the couples who tells small and silly lie to their better half. I don’t know why it makes them think it is better than telling the truth. For instance, telling her/him that you are with someone else, when in actual you are with some other people. I wonder.
I have a very close friend, whose marriage failed after 15 years. They have two kids, grownup. And it is a very difficult decision to make when you have kids at vulnerable age, and difficult when you have spent half the life thinking that he would be there for you and your kids. I had no word for her to console when she called me and cried silently. Partly she blamed herself for the trust she placed in him while in his case he was busy making a fool of the person who loved and trusted him. And the worst part was he blamed her for his own mistake which she thought was very unforgiving.
She talks about it and she say people think she is still not over it. But I think not getting over it and not forgetting it two different things. Not getting over it is not accepting the things that are happening. She has accepted the fact and slapped on his face by coming out more stronger. She has moved on and moved on good with full support from her kids and parents. And I, for one, thought she made a best decision by moving on without him. It was not that I would not have liked the idea of having them not separated but when the person whom you trusted cheated you half of your time with him and you hear it from “word of mouth”, where is the question of trust and integrity?
Women are not frail. The fact that she cries does not mean she is weak. She can be as strong or stronger than any man can imagine.