Heart Wrenching Pains

There are moments in life, when you cannot simply explain how you are feeling because it is just too heart wrenching. I have come across this moment when Sonam Tashi’s nephew Thinley Chojur passed away at 2 months. He suffered acute heart failure. I can’t imagine the pain being endured by him alone. His mother and we talked about him being spoilt when he cried when actually he was suffering so much with pain.

Sonam Tashi’s elder sister was with us for couple of days. She came along with her youngest son for her treatment. She complained of burning skins like being bitten by nettles. We did Rimdros, took her for Zhabthrue for her recovery.  Wednesday was holiday (Daisain) and I was at home watching Pem Zangmo, my cousin bathe the baby. I noticed baby was suffering from breathlessness. I suspected Pneumonia but he didn’t have cough and cold and when I put my ear close to his back, his breathes were not hoarse. We decided to take him to pediatrician the next day.

We went to Doc. Phillips for the checkups. We were asked to do chest x ray of Thinley. Doc. Phillips advised to urgently admit him to the ward after looking at his x-ray result. Before we could reach the ward, he went blue. I was scared to death, my heart was pounding so fast and I couldn’t stop saying “aiee”. Once we were in the ward, the nurse gave the oxygen supplement to him which made him recover from going blue. The nurse drew blood from such tiny hand and he started crying more. He was breathing so hard. The nurse mentioned that he being heart patient, he will go blue every time he cries hard. I briefly looked at Doctors prescription and saw, engrossed heart, unstable pulse, breathlessness- all symptoms of heart failure.

He kept on crying and he was immediately admitted to PICU. Only on attendant was allowed inside. My sister in law who couldn’t stop crying and I, helplessly waited outside praying hard for the pain to subside. Finally, I called Sonam Tashi to come and just be near his sister. We went home since it was useless standing outside. We informed Ata Tsewang Dorji, Thinley’s Father that he can call us if emergency things happens.

We went to bed with the hope that everything will be fine. I consoled the mother saying that there are many heart patients who has recovered. However, we received the call from hospital that the case has become worst and the baby is suffering seriously. Sonam Tashi and his sister went to hospital and I stayed back with Zamin praying.

Sonam Tashi called me to inform that Thinley is no more with us. I made preparation at home for the rituals. Later I learnt from Sonam that Thinley suffered so much pain. I cried at the pain he had to endure at such a tender age. I really can’t explain how much overwhelmed I was. Think about his mother.